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SpecialMojo Brookzz’s debut Netflix hour “I Know You Lying” drops Tuesday/
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SpecialMojo Brookzz’s debut Netflix hour “I Know You Lying” drops Tuesday/
SNLShane Gillis hosts Saturday, with Rosalía as musical guest/
FestivalAtlantic City Comedy Festival takes Boardwalk Hall Oct 9–10/
FestivalMilwaukee Comedy Festival runs all week, Oct 5–11/
PodcastKill Tony #791 with Jim Norton + Anthony Cumia is up/
Late NightJordan Klepper hosts The Daily Show Tuesday through Thursday/
Free SpecialKerry Godliman’s “Bandwidth” is free on 800 Pound Gorilla’s YouTube/
NetflixSam Morril’s new hour “Incorrect” is streaming now/
Doc“Norm: The Tale of Norm Macdonald” lands on Netflix Oct 16/
ClubsBristol’s Blue Ridge Comedy Club closes Oct 30 after five years/
Sports Spin

The Mariners Hired a 36-Year-Old Who's Never Managed. He Used to Teach Chemistry

Seattle picked Cubs farm director Jason Kanzler over former Astros manager Joe Espada. It's Jerry Dipoto's third straight manager with no managing on his résumé.

By the Heckle Desk · · 2 min read
Seattle Mariners
Photo: Wikimedia Commons (T-Mobile Park, Seattle)

The Seattle Mariners named Jason Kanzler their manager Tuesday, and if the name doesn't ring a bell, don't feel bad; it doesn't ring one in most minor league towns either. Kanzler is 36. He has never managed a team at any level of affiliated baseball. He has spent the last three seasons as the Chicago Cubs' director of player development, the fellow who runs the farm system, and before that he was a hitting coach for the Houston Astros in 2022 and 2023, including the year they won the World Series. It's a fine résumé for a lot of jobs. Manager isn't usually one of them, but this is Seattle, where the usual has already been tried.

He played, briefly. The Minnesota Twins drafted him in the 20th round in 2013, and he got as far as High-A, which in baseball is like getting as far as the lobby. Then comes the part of the biography I find most encouraging: he taught high school physics and chemistry in suburban Houston. He also coached two summers in the Cape Cod League and has a psychology degree from the University at Buffalo. So the Mariners have hired a man who understands velocity, combustion and why grown men cry, which is the entire job description for the only franchise that has never been to a World Series.

He'll be the 22nd manager in team history and the second-youngest in the majors, behind Washington's Blake Butera, who is 34. The other finalist was Joe Espada, 51, who led the Astros to AL West titles in 2024 and 2026 and won a World Series as Houston's bench coach in 2022. Seattle looked at a man who has managed winning teams and chose the one who taught tenth grade. You have to admire a front office that sticks to its principles, even after the principles missed the playoffs.

It's a pattern, and the pattern belongs to Jerry Dipoto, the president of baseball operations, who has now hired three managers. In 2015 he hired Scott Servais, who had never managed. Then came Dan Wilson, who had never managed, and whose tenure ended right after Game 162 of a very disappointing season. Now Kanzler, who has never managed. If at first you don't succeed, the Dipoto method seems to say, hire someone who's never tried. There's a modern theory behind it, that a manager is mainly a translator between the analytics department and the clubhouse, and a former teacher explains things better than a former catcher. It's not a crazy theory. It's just the kind that gets an executive fired if it fails, which may be why the executive keeps hiring men who'll owe him the favor.

General manager Justin Hollander says Kanzler is the right person to lead the team back to the postseason. Maybe so. He'll have a clubhouse full of millionaires and a city that has never seen a pennant, and his best preparation is a room full of 15-year-olds who didn't want to learn the periodic table. Then again, that may be the best training there is. Every good teacher learns early that you can't make anybody learn anything; you can only keep them in their seats until the bell rings, and hope the parents don't call the principal.